Divorce: Don’t Do It Alone!

By Lynne Milford

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It Takes a Village

You know the saying “It takes a village…” right?  Well, that applies not only to raising children to be solid, emotionally healthy, conscientious adults, but also to you if you are going through a divorce.  Divorce can be scary and frustrating and emotionally overwhelming…even if you don’t have children.

Good Allies For You

You don’t have to go it alone – surrounding yourself with a village of support can make a huge difference in the entire process.  Your lawyer is an important source of guidance and legal support, but your lawyer may not have time or skills to help you with the emotional support you might want.  There are other allied professionals you should consider making part of your “team.”  Allied professionals such as a “Divorce Coach” can be a life-changing source of emotional support and practical information for you during this time of great change and great challenges.  Allied professionals are those folks who provide advice to people contemplating divorce, such as financial advisors, therapists, mortgage advisors, or “coaches.”   Ask us for more information about allied professionals we work with if you think one might be able to help guide you in your divorce decision making.   (Internal Link here)

Advantages of Working with a Divorce Coach

In over 30 years of practice, I find that those of my clients who work with divorce coaches, in particular, tend to feel less anxious and overwhelmed by all of the initial decisions they think they have to make “NOW.”   A divorce coach would be able to help you figure out things such as just what decisions should be made before others; how to gather information to help inform those decisions; how to organize and process the information you gather; how to manage your stress and emotionality during this time. A divorce coach can often be a more empathetic advisor than your lawyer too – lawyers tend to be natural problem solvers and are typically not naturally empathetic or patient.  I like to work with a team approach with my clients because in my experience a client who is able to obtain information and guidance from multiple sources is best able to make thoughtful, solid decisions in his or her own best interest.  It’s not that I would need to consult with the coaches or other professionals on any regular basis, but rather that my client’s questions and information needs are being met with qualified, proven advisors in their particular field.  Sometimes I need to know how my client is managing emotionally during a certain phase of divorce, or perhaps I feel that my client’s emotional state is making it impossible for him or her to fully understand what I am trying to explain – and in those cases I would work with a coach to assure that the client receives the full benefit of a village of support.

Some Very Fine Coaches I Have Worked With:

Temple Trigg

Andra Davidson

Christine Kahane

Perhaps you will want too as well!

Contact us to schedule a consultation if you would like to learn more about this subject.

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